6.25.2006

Problem Parents

We opened our registration for summer camp last night. YIKES! Hundreds of parents showed up to get in line before the 6:00 p.m. opening. Because our camp usually fills up very quickly, we've been forced to create a 'hard start time' to make it as fair for everybody as possible. Now that registration is open, they can sign up whenever they want, but for opening day, it's 6:00 p.m......period.

Of course there are always parents who think simple guidelines and structures don't apply to them (and we wonder why we have students who think the same way...but I digress). Last night, we had one parent who simply couldn't accept the fact that we wouldn't allow her to drop her registration off before 6:00. Despite the fact that there were parents waiting in a long line, she insisted she be given the right to drop her daughter's registration off early so she could get on with her other plans.

I find parents like this to be hilarious. Why do they think church is going to operate entirely different than every other part of society? Target opens at 8:00 a.m. Showing up at 7:45 a.m. and demanding they open the doors early for you because you are in a hurry doesn't make any sense. Soccer sign-ups start on a certain day and a certain time. You do it their way or you don't play. But the church does operate differently...and we should. And as a result, those of us in leadership often find ourselves in tricky scenarios. Should we have let her drop her forms off early? Maybe. Did we? No. We just didn't feel like it would have been the right thing to do. My wife was actually the volunteer who was dealing with this parent and she did an excellent job. By the end of the conflict, she was actually thanking Rachel for such excellent service.

I'm not sure when the next time you'll deal with an upset parent will be, or for what reason. However, I do know it's going to happen. Here is one approach to handling their concerns. I've used last night's situation as an example:

SITUATION: Parent is upset because she wants to sign up early.

"I Can Understand Why You Feel This Way": I understand that you're frustrated and in a hurry. It makes total sense to me that you would want to drop your registration off early and, if possible, avoid waiting in this long line.........

"In Fact, Others Have Felt The Same Way": You're not alone in your frustration. Each year we have parents who want to do the same thing. In fact, some have even talked to Pastor Rick about their concerns.....

"Here's What We've Discovered": We've learned over the years that this is the most efficient and fair way to open up registration. The overall frustration caused by letting people drop stuff off early is much worse than you would imagine. We've discovered that when parents know we have procedures for a good, logical reason they actually appreciate the organizational efforts...

This 3-step approach will work in almost any situation. It won't always bring about reconciliation, but at the very least it will give you a strategy for navigating the conflict.

4 comments:

Ro-Honda said...

The moral of this story, at least what I read, is that Rachel rocks!

Dave Miers said...

thanks for the tips

KevDogg said...

Hey, that's a great problem to have, when you think about it. I wish we could convince our parents to try to sign their MS students up for things at all, much less on time!

May we all have to deal with parents who want their kids to go to summer camp so badly! :)

muzik316 said...

That is a great post. I love it when people treat people like everyone else. It kills me, especially in the church, when certain families get more attention or “special privileges” because of whom they are.