6.15.2006

Up A Croc Without A Paddle


By now you've certainly seen them. Crocs are those really goofy looking rubber-like sandal/boat shoes that come in all sorts of crazy colors. I have, for the last several months, been an outspoken mocker of anybody I know who owns a pair. I mean, really, should any adult male be seen in lime green rubber sandals! A couple of nights ago I went to a buddy’s house and saw a pair sitting by his door. I mocked him. I then tried on his crocs. They are, without doubt, the most comfortable shoe I have ever worn. Unbelievable. He then proceeded to tell me that they come in brown and black. This was news to me because all I had ever seen were the obnoxiously loud crocs. I now find myself in a terrible spot: How can I possibly purchase a pair of black crocs when I've spent several months using them as fodder for my lame stand-up routine? Will Croc wearers welcome me to the family or will I be shunned because I have been so harsh? I must have a pair...but I can't, can I?

9 comments:

Mike Lovato said...

It does not matter how comfortable they are. The point is you will look ridiculous. It's the same theory with Uggs for girls. I do not understand why girls will wear those stinking obnoxious boots with their short skirts in 90 degree heat. They're just Ugg-ly. Anyways, I will make fun of you for a long time if you buy these things.

chad swanzy said...

Did you ever own a pair of parachute pants? Did you ever roll your pants up in a tight cuff in the early eighties? Walk around wearing one glove when Thriller came out? How about sleeving little beads onto a safety pin and attaching them to your shoes in several neat rows? Did you wear neon colors like George Michael during the WHAM days? Put egg yoke in your hair to make it stand up like the guys from NEW ORDER. The people that started this fad will go the way of those who put a penny in their penny loafers.

josh(ua) said...

You cannot possibly buy a pair of these hideous cheap-o sandels. I will join in with Domo Arigato Mr. Lovato in making fun of you.

Puddles said...

Comfort is all that should matter. You are old(er) and married. Image should not matter. Besides, they are not that ugly. Do they come in orange?

Glenn Garvin said...

I saw the article in Fastcompany and I couldn't believe it. Is there no end to what people will buy in the name of fashion. These guys are making a killing! I'm still stuck wearing cheap flip flops. Do these Crocs come with some kind of secret compartment to store your favorite snack food? Say like, Lime Jello?

Stac said...

I'm a Croc-wearer, and I'll defend the wearing of comfortable shoes any day! They are great, without a doubt. I was skeptical, too, until a buddy let/forced me to wear his for part of a LONG day at a weekend retreat. I couldn't believe how good they felt. My wife got me a black pair for my birthday, and I wear them almost every day. Go ahead, Kurt, take the plunge, and never look back! They're great for slipping on when I need to take the dog out, when I'm going paddling (we do the kayak thing)...I think you'll be glad you did.

Although a jello compartment would be pretty sweet, too...

joshuamichael said...

I would rank Crocs as one of those to be listed in the Bad Fads hall of fame along with Zubaz.

Joshua Griffin said...

That's it ... I'm getting a pair. JG

Just another JH dude said...

I hail from the whopping metropolis of Billings, MT (that would be Montana) and am a proud Croc wearer... got 'em on today, as a matter of fact!

I openly mocked them the first time I saw 'em, too -- on our HS dude (lime green... I, too, thought that was the only color they came in.) Slowly but surely, more and more people started wearing them 'round here, including my always-fashionable wife who bought a purple pair for surgery days at her eyeball-frying job. [They (the company) did Tiger's eyes, so they must be doing something right!].

I finally decided that if they could withstand the rigors of Camp, I would buy a pair. They do -- the only Camp shoe to ever own!!! Be free, compadre!

PS -- Buy a pair the color of your favorite team, whatever that team may be... my Carolina blues rock quite sufficiently!