8.19.2006

Really Sad

I'm feeling really sad this morning. I made a bonehead decision that hurt a good friend. I'd feel better if the decision I made was the right one, but that's not the case. I made a dumb decision that was the wrong decision that ended up hurting a friend. It wasn't intentional, wasn't thought through, and made in a moment of desperation brought on by procrastination. While that might make some people feel better about it or excuse it, for me it only makes me feel worse because I want to be a man who is intentional, thoughtful and certainly not desperate.

I feel like the guy who rages at his wife when he's drunk or causes an accident while speeding. The "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do this...forgive me" line doesn't quite cover it.

But that's the only thing I knew to say.

Okay, enough transparency! My next post will have to be something totally shallow.

1 comment:

Paul said...

Its good that you can be honest with yourself and not live in some Christian fantasy jungle, complete with two way mirrors. It is nice to know that some people, like you, have authentic reflections on regrettable mishaps and fight the urge to masquerade in illusory thoughts to feel better. It is refreshing to read some introspective monologue that is authentic in intent, genuine in expression and fundamentally sincere (Pr 28:19).